Wholeness? I‘m not broken

Did you know that I started a YouTube channel 3 years ago? I think this is the time you click that link and subscribe to my channel. Who knows, I might just have some goodies for you soon ;)

Few days ago, I caught up with one of my high school sweetheart. During our conversation, she mentioned how she felt like she was pouring out from an empty cup and didn’t realize it until she got to a breaking point. I was like sisssss. Then it took me back to how my first YouTube series focused on being aware of what we pour into ourselves because if the content is unhealthy, it can (negatively) affect what others receive from us. I stopped filming for different reasons. One of the main reasons was because I felt I was facing constant challenges and I didn’t think I could be in a place to pour out and encourage others anymore, till I dealt with (some of) them. Selfish right? A part of me always wanted to delete my YouTube videos because it made me cringeee lol. Cringe because bruh, so much has happened within those 3 years. It shouldn’t be a bad thing but you see, as humans, we tend to hide our scars because they are unattractive and remind us of the pain we went through. Instead, I gradually began to nurture a “life-long learning” perspective. I began to see every experience as an opportunity to increase in learning. To remind me of how much God loves me that He held my hands through times of adversity; even when it didn’t feel like it. Within those 3 years, I’ve gone through a little shaking, beating and pressing. Shoutout to my guuurrll for holding me down with this song. The beautiful thing I have come to realize is this - All the “broken and messed up pieces” I thought were unattractive are being used to work out my beautiful masterpiece! As I share thoughts & resources used on my journey towards progressive wholeness, I hope it challenges your thinking about what LOVE for ourselves and others actually means. First, let’s understand the basics of wholeness. 

/Whole/

Adjective: “all of, entire, in an unbroken or undamaged piece, in one piece".

Noun: “a thing complete in itself”.

Have you ever played a puzzled game? Do you remember how the pieces felt confusing and overwhelming? Then, you start putting the pieces together and you have better clarity of what the final image is meant to look like.

When you and I were born, we were created whole by a creator, in His complete image. That creator has the full-picture of how our lives should look like from the start to the end. As we go through life, we interact with people, ideologies, situations, environments that could keep us in one-piece or leave us in pieces. Sometimes, we are unaware of how broken we are; which could affect how we view ourselves, process information, interact with people or live our lives.

One of my fave affirmations is that “I was born to live in good health and to prosper”. Anything contrary to this Word, is not the Creator’s will for my life. However, I have an earthly role to play in stewarding my body, soul and spirit to align with this Word. To enjoy a healthy and prosperous life, I also believe it’s important to heal (progressively) from (any form of) brokenness - by dealing with the issues of our heart. Out of our heart flows the various issues of our lives. So, it’s important to understand the power it holds, what could affect it and how to guard it; using wisdom.

Yes, look into my eyes baby. J'eka connect

Wisdom is a priceless gift. Remember when I shared how all I want for my birthday was skillful and godly wisdom? Of course I desire other things but I think if you have certain things but don’t have the wisdom to be able to handle it, you can build or break them. The way you get this skillful & godly wisdom comes from our Creator and is accessible to everyone. Wisdom builds, protects, guides and prospers you. She encourages us to guard our hearts and protect it from any contaminants that could leave us in a (more) broken or damaged state. This requires dependence on your Creator, conscious self-awareness, and the willingness to constantly be better. I know growth comes with pains but we don't have to feel like we are growing alone. We have the Holy Spirit - our helper sent from the Creator - to help us identify areas of our lives that are broken, so we can understand how to walk towards wholeness in that area. Developmental psychologists study why and how humans change through their lifetime to better understand (or predict) behaviour. Physicians analyze a patient's history by asking the right questions, performing a physical exam and tests in order to prescribe the right medication to an illness. Christians believe things happen in the Spirit realm before they manifest in the physical realm. One thing they all have in common is that you have to trace the roots (cause or origin) of something to understand, improve or solve it. Once you do, applying wisdom leads you to take practical steps towards growth. 

Wholeness is not a destination but a life-long journey. It’s a mindset of progress not perfection. To me, it means how my mental, psychological, emotional, physical, social, and spiritual health can work in progressive harmony. Wholeness is found, anchored and nurtured when we build total dependence and satisfaction in Jesus Christ. It is understanding that no matter where I look to for satisfaction, nothing can ever fully complete or satisfy me; like Jesus can. It is being content, at peace, and secure in the core of who I am and not in the number of things I do or acquire. It is my ability to express gratitude and enjoy my process of becoming. It is not being immune to adversity but the ability to build resilience through them in a functional and healthy way. It is not exclusive of my fears, scars, insecurities, expectations, doubts, and flaws. However, it is unapologetically owning both my healthy and unhealthy pieces and surrendering them to my Creator, so He can use all of them to refine my character for His glory.

What a spicyy babe. Can you see my fro' flourishing to the Heavens lol

Before you go, let's do an exercise I did months ago. Ask yourself "who am I at my core? without the followers, degree, job, businesses, sex, makeup, children, alcohol, spouse, filters, drugs, constant income, subscribers, weed, video games, social media accounts, porn, leadership position or acquisitions?" Are you content with the quality of your core self? Can you stand being alone with yourself? Would you be friends with this current core self? It's totally okay if you are not. It means there is room to walk towards wholeness in those areas.

When you have an injury, the goal is not to just apply a bandage over it but to treat the wound so it can heal properly. Healing is very subjective and looks different to every individual. That is why in part 2, we will take a look at everyday people; like you and I. I’ll show you why your healing is very important to becoming your best self so you can live an authentic life; even in times of uncertainty or adversity.

& no, i didn't cut my hair. s/o to Dr. shrinkage